I'm such a believer. I always believe that no matter how hard it is, or what bills you have to pay.. everything will works itself out. However, there's moments where I just want to feel bad. Why is it that we do this? Why do we question things? It's just like the post before this one.. It's all black and white, it's easy, right?
They are never there for me. My parents have always been omit from my life. My mother was never the one to send me off to school with a smile and yell at me only because I forgot my lunch. She wasn't there for the birthday parties, or the coming of age discussions. My father isn't there for me now. He doesn't call. Weeks on end will pass and there will be no number or message from him on the caller ID.
Alone. I just feel alone sometimes and it makes me anxious. My knee is bouncing a thousand miles an hour right now just in attempt to give myself some sort of comfort. My thoughts are jumbled and I'm not too sure how this is going to come out - But I put the pressure on myself that it has to be perfect.
LET IT GO. Let it all go. I've done tougher things in my life then live without my parents. I've surrived a best friend dying in high school, I left my home state and moved to another with family I didn't even know, and I've gave birth to a beautiful 9 pound baby. I can do this.
I can do this. I just need to let it go. It's my path in life to be alone without the company of my parents. I'm not the only one. I guess I was blessed to have them for the moments they were there, and the moments they weren't because in everything, we grow.
Now comes acceptance.
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